I’m often told that men like to try to solve problems; women like to listen to problems, and receive comfort that others are suffering in the same way. Consequently, when I read today’s study, I recalled this (alleged) fundamental difference between men and women. Is this a true difference – I ask in honest humility – what do you think?
I like Selwyn’s conclusion: “If you want to help people, don’t repeat exactly what they say. They will feel as though they are talking to a parrot. Summarise what you hear, expressing it in different words. How does this help? It shows the person that you have grasped and comprehended their problem, and gives them the reassurance that although you may not have a solution, you understand their predicament and their feelings. And being understood is as helpful to the emotions as good advice is to the mind. Don’t seek to solve the person’s problem (leave that to Jesus) – seek to understand the person’s feelings.”
I think the prayer for today is very good: “Father God, help me to be skillful at this task of helping people to feel understood. Give me opportunities to put this caring skill into practice this very day. I am Yours to use. Thank You, Father. Amen.”
Yes, I know, I really like solving problems – hard to move away from, and let God, be God! Pray for me, in this regard – thanks.
Caring is understanding
I’m often told that men like to try to solve problems; women like to listen to problems, and receive comfort that others are suffering in the same way. Consequently, when I read today’s study, I recalled this (alleged) fundamental difference between men and women. Is this a true difference – I ask in honest humility – what do you think?
I like Selwyn’s conclusion: “If you want to help people, don’t repeat exactly what they say. They will feel as though they are talking to a parrot. Summarise what you hear, expressing it in different words. How does this help? It shows the person that you have grasped and comprehended their problem, and gives them the reassurance that although you may not have a solution, you understand their predicament and their feelings. And being understood is as helpful to the emotions as good advice is to the mind. Don’t seek to solve the person’s problem (leave that to Jesus) – seek to understand the person’s feelings.”
I think the prayer for today is very good: “Father God, help me to be skillful at this task of helping people to feel understood. Give me opportunities to put this caring skill into practice this very day. I am Yours to use. Thank You, Father. Amen.”
Yes, I know, I really like solving problems – hard to move away from, and let God, be God! Pray for me, in this regard – thanks.