In today’s study, Selwyn discusses those people who can’t forgive other people; or who say: “I can forgive but I can’t forget.” He makes a very good case that these views are not aligned with the way God forgives us. One of the reasons, he says, why people hold such views is that they do not appreciate just how much they have been forgiven by God.

Basically, I think it’s pride that holds a person back from offering full and complete forgiveness to anyone who has wronged them, in any way.  To forget the pain or damage caused by another does not mean that we ignore our responsibility to ensure that the circumstances which may lead to sin, are addressed. That is, we don’t leave people who abuse their duty of care; say with children, in a position which allows further abuse to occur.

Selwyn writes in his conclusion: “Since God forgives you, you can forgive others. But if you exclude others from your forgiveness then you shut yourself off  from God’s forgiveness.”  Looked at from another way – if you follow Jesus then you can forgive others. [And, the opposite statement is also true!]

Matthew 18:21-35 (NIV): “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, ‘Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?’ Jesus answered, ‘I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Seventy – seven times is symbolic for a perfect and complete number of times.) Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. At this the servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.’ But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.

Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Refusing others forgiveness is a sin, which will be punished by God; if, you maintain the rage and refuse to return to God’s ways. It’s hard to miss the message in the above verses – do you agree?